youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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