I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He better not be in your backpack
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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