he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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