If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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