He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
