I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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