I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
