absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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