"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He felt like a one man threesome
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
