Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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