Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
