Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
