I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
