No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
