I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
