did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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