32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
