yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
