someone get that fucking seahorse.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
