I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
