I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
