i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
