Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
