North Korea, Best Korea!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
