So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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