We're facebook friends in real life
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
