Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
