I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I touched a dick in church today
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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