the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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