so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
