is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
