hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
