No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
