So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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