I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
