wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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