I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
