I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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