well you can't waste a boner
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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