So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
