dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You smell like stripper and shame
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
