Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
