In the future we'll all be gay
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
