Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I want her autograph on my taint
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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