pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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