why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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