Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
