I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
