I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
