I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
