So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
