just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
