I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
